Considering the end of the world is nigh, and All Hallows Eve is nearly upon us, I hereby declare my allegiance to the Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse. I have been waiting to see what inspiration would turn up at the 11th hour and here it is, on a rainy Friday night, when I least expected it. I cannot say how relieved I am to have chanced upon this fanciful sisterhood of extreme coolness when all other options were looking somewhat tawdry. I have no idea at this stage who else belongs to this fraternity (yes, yes, I know ‘fraternity’ means brotherhood, but is there an equivalent word for ‘sisterhood’? Because if there is, I don’t know it, so ‘fraternity’ is just going to have to go trans-gender for now), but we are out there…roaming amongst the masses largely incognito, spies of the underworld, each of us holding a key to the portal that remains forever hidden to the unworthy. Well, that’s the story I’m going with, anyway – and at this late stage in the game, there are no rules, baby!
Apparently the 28th October was/is the official end of the Mayan calendar and has something rather significant to do with the end of the world as we know it. There is much talk of these things amongst the circles I move in, and theories abound as to the interpretation of what exactly is meant by the ‘end of the world’. One can’t help but be curious. And somewhat detached. I mean, really, what can you do? If it’s going to all go up in a puff of smoke, or crumble in a catastrophic quake of gargantuan proportions, then, well, there it is. Sayonara, Hasta la vista, or as I used to say when about to play a winning hand at poker, Goodnight Suzie! (don’t ask. I don’t know.) So anyway, I’m going with the Go-Go Girls and that’s it. I want to dress up in my knee-hi white boots, tease my hair into an award-winning trophy of apocolyptic grandeur, and go out with a bang, not a whimper!
I want the vampires to rise from their coffins for the occasion, and in particular one Eric Northman, to come find me while I’m go-go dancing in my neo-gothic steampunk cage, and smile seductively,( fangs clicked out) as he approaches with the only key… As the crazy surfer-punk go-go music blares through the crowd, and the burly security guards try to prevent him from getting to me, he pushes aside all interference as though they were mice- nay, mosquitos – and his gaze remains unwaveringly upon me as he licks his sweet vampire lips in preparation for his last supper, his divine conquest, realizing that Sookie was only ever an appetizer in comparison to this, Miss Melisinka Star…
Of course, there is no real end to the world in terms of the whole planet exploding or imploding or whatever. Not yet, anyway. I’m no scientist, but in the famous words of Cath, “I feel it in my waters”. Rather, as my more new-age-oriented friends would put it, this whole end times thing is more about a transformation. “Transformation” is the word we tarot readers use when the Death card comes up in a reading and clients get a little freaked out. Everything goes through it’s own cycle, and Death is merely a part, a stage, in Life. No need to panic, just a wee trip into the Underworld for a bit, then up again into the next lovely sunny rebirth. If you can find your way out, of course…
The thing is, in this time where developers are free to roam and destroy all dwellings of history and beauty, and replace them with the box-ugliness of homogenized mediocrity that destroys the soul and renders us with nowhere left to hide, nowhere left to play- for their own vile profit, I can honestly say I see nothing too wrong with a bit of an apocalypse to clear the path ahead. Aren’t the zombies already here amongst us? Of course they are, and their leader is Rupert Murdoch. There are legions of them. Corporate legions. They brutalize the earth, animals and other humans for profit, and their time, hopefully, has come. The empire of greed must come to an end. Where’s the love, people, where is the love in this fucked up system of rules and laws that serve the rich and feed off the ‘third world’?
So anyway, I was being rescued/attacked by Eric Northman, and I was a bikini girl with a machine-gun – wait, no, a Go-Go girl of the Apocalypse, and the vampires had all risen from their coffins. All the really, really good-looking vampires like Louis and Lestat and pretty much the entire cast of True Blood, and Angel and Spike and the Cullens and all the rest, come to party with us Go-Go’s, whilst the other Nosferatu terrorize and feed on the corporate legions and developers - under a blood red sky. There are violent thunderstorms and amazingly, lightning strikes and destroys just the square box architecture and everything beige, leaving resplendent and glorious, the old Victorian, Edwardian and Gothic dwellings! The ivy which clings to their stone walls shivers as the wild winds and torrential rain cleanses the world of ugliness. All ancient church spires serve as antennae to call down the Angels, who move amongst us, kissing, singing and bringing great blessings of ecstasy to those whose heart has been broken in the harsh end times. Those angels pick us up in their arms and we ride through the sky as the world floods and rumbles below. Mother Nature roars, and in the four Watchtowers the Go-Go Girls of the Apocalypse, in their hot-pants and high boots, dance the crazy night away into a brand new day!
Yes! It’s mayhem, it’s chaos! And yes, there are gaps in my unfolding saga, but what the hell, it IS the end of the world as we know it so of course there is going to be a wild, anarchic feel to the whole thing, right. But it certainly supersedes any theory I’ve been met with lately, so I’m sticking with it. I’m sure the details will be filled in when the time comes. In the meantime, there is not only Samhain/Halloween in a couple of nights, when the veil between the worlds is thinnest, but also the most auspicious 11.11.11 which falls on full moon in Taurus, is just around the corner … so if you have some wishing to do, go lace up your boots and zip up your hotpants my pretties, for the end of the world is nigh! (p.s. coolest coffin below. Way to go!)