Okay, I will admit to you from the start that I have absolutely no idea of what I am going to write about today. I have been indulging in True Blood, satisfying my vampire craving with an intelligent edge that just sharpens the pleasure. Mmmm… escapism is gooooood…… It has taken months just to get to this point where I have opened up a new post and am sitting here at my desk once more, so be gentle with me, dear readers, as I plunge headlong into a return to the world of words. It’s one of those weird times when there is just so much going on it is utterly overwhelming to try and break it down into a single topic. I’m not talking just about my own life, but the whole world thing, where every day it seems there is some gargantuan natural disaster somewhere, only exacerbated by other wars and attempted revolutions and on and on and on. Floods, Tsunamis, Earthquakes, Nuclear meltdowns! Talk about living The Tower! I don’t watch t.v. and the only newspapers I see are those which are sitting on the cafe table in front of me as I wait for my morning latte – but still, even with only this tiny portal for public information to filter through, I feel the pain, chaos and uncertainty of a world which to me seems to be in a massive state of transition. There are a billion, trillion, zillion things I want to impart, and all I can do is this. Like a little message in a bottle, let it float out there into Nowhere Land. So be it. (But by god, I’m going to cross this blog entry off my Virgo-full-moon-inspired Super List before I go dancing tonight! )
Talking of Saturday’s full moon, which was meant to be closer to the earth than it has been in 20 or 40 years or something, wasn’t the energy just amazing! We had friends over and made a fire and feast out the back, with an impromptu dash to a gig in the middle (note: if you want to feel like a teenager again, the easiest way by far is to pile a whole heap of people into your coupe, crank the music up, wind the windows down and drive fast. Sooooo much fun!). It’s amazing what can happen under a full moon, never underestimate the power of your wish when you want it under such auspicious luminosity. With the sense of impending armageddon and ecological doom that surrounds us nowadays, every moon is a blessing not to be taken for granted. Is that morose? Sorry, but it’s true. I have to say it. I may not be here next time to say it. One must always be mindful of Death.
Another thing I want to say before I die is that I really like good food and I love my housemate who is one of the best cooks I have ever encountered, one of those wonderful people who actually loves cooking and does it on a regular basis. Today when I came home from work there was a fresh jar of pesto made from the last of our abundant crop of basil, along with herbed oven-baked cherry tomatoes (also from our garden. So proud right now…) and a nice fat loaf of sunflower rye. Too good. No matter what is going on in the world, how awful it all is, when you have good food to eat, and good company, somehow everything is okay. You eat dinner cooked with love, with loved ones, and you feel like you can face it all again. it is truly one of the best things we can do for ourselves. I used to hate eating alone, especially at night, and often wouldn’t eat at all if that were the case. The food never tasted as good, and it felt more functional than truly pleasurable. Now, I pretty much plan my life around Valhalla feasting with Valkyries and Viking men – or if that doesn’t quite happen, then I at least aim for a quiet night for two under a triple candelabra. Whatever, as long as it satiates the senses. Yes, I am indulging my Taurean side, like the lovely little contented bull that I am. No, hold on, make that sacred white Indian cow, all decorated with bells and flowers, Goddess of Goa. Bovine Empress Extraordinaire!
Another remedy for Armageddon blues is this: If you get the chance, go on the big swing ride at the fair. The one that looks like a carousel, but has the long swings hanging down, that spin right out high into the air as it turns around. It is the best fun ever! I went on it recently at Moomba and felt like I was flying. I also saw the skull of a goat in the clouds with hollow eyes and huge horns – an eerie portent of the wrath of the horned god, methinks. Another doomsday sign. But high in the air, my feet swinging, and gleefully joining in the whoops and shrill cries of fun-park frivolities, I cared not a whit about the End Times. I was liberated from fear, up there like a faery child, free as a flying babe can be.
I am always searching for states of elevation, a hit of bliss. To be honest, it’s kind of hit-and-miss, but that’s the nature of the game. Still, I have found certain things will get me there with a pretty much guaranteed outcome. Music, sex and dancing: in other words, paying homage to our tribal instinct and heartbeat. To me, these three are the same energy, a trifecta that is always worth placing a bet on! I have been dancing a lot lately, and am lucky enough to live where there is a plethora of choices to meet my varying needs. Getting out of your head and into your body is one of the best things in life. Almost all of us these days are so stuck in our heads, so overloaded with responsibilities and stresses and issues to deal with, that we tend to neglect or forget about our bodies altogether. But it is through the feeling that our bodies give us that we connect to the divine and transcend the mundane. For me, there is simply no substitute for that feeling on the dancefloor that you are in Wonderland, surrounded by all these other magical creatures, moving and playing in their own unique way – it just feels so good!
It is no accident that the final trump card in the Major Arcana, is symbolized by the World Dancer. This to me is the ultimate goal of humanity (wow, I can’t believe I just wrote that. Where the hell did that come from?? Just go with it, Melisinka, ride the wave of chaos past the rational mind…). At the end of the journey, we don’t have a picture of The Thinker sitting there with his hand on his chin in contemplation, we have a naked dancer – a portrayal of freedom and liberation from the mind. The best part of dancing is when you are one with the music and you lose all self-consciousness, becoming one with your environment- you ARE the World, the very centre of the Universe, the microcosmic disco dancer extraordinaire. It is John Travolta, not Plato, that we should be thanking. We are here to transcend our limited little minds, and the only way to get there is to stop trying to use them to work out why we are fucking up the world, and ourselves, because it’s never going to happen. To some things there simply are no answers. BUT we do have a choice as to how we deal with all this chaos and impending doom. And I for one, will be dancing on the deck if the ship starts sinking.