Last night i had a funny dream. I was taking all these teenagers on a nocturnal excursion. There were hundreds of them in this big cavernous hall underground waiting to go, and I walked through them like a dark queen to the front and up onto a stage, to deliver a speech before we took off into the night. We were going to Golgotha, an institutional Melbourne Goth party, and as such we would all need to be suitably attired, yes. Now, even though you all look lovely in your own clothes, I informed them, there was no way in hell you are getting in wearing blue jeans or polo tops. Some changes need to be made. Changes for the better, improvements that will enhance your existence in all sorts of ways…. so, let’s start talking black.
It was great. I really felt like i was doing something of real value for the world. Basically, it was my makeover fantasy dream. God, I wish it was real. I’d take them all one by one and have Goth stylists at hand to transform them into insanely beautiful young creatures of the night! Indulge my vampire fetish to the extreme and let them loose on the dark streets.
I think perhaps this dream was a result of my daughter’s party here on Saturday night. We were sitting out the front as hoardes of 16 and 17 year olds came through – and what a fine looking party it was! Not only did they look great, but there were some really special people there. At one point in the night i had a circle of about five girls and boys who told me they want to be witches, and we huddled in close to begin their initiation into magic, simple and inspired by the moon. It was really beautiful. Just in case any of you are reading this, a site I like you may be interested in is www.gothic-teens.webs.com/
I hate to say it, but sometimes you look around and wonder where all the good looking people are? They’re all at high school! Don’t get me wrong, I’m not into youth worshipping, but i just wish the general population would care a bit more about how they look. Be more beautiful. And before I get nailed for being “lookist” or some such crap, let me also add that it’s not just about having perfect features and flawless skin (though let’s face it, that wouldn’t be anything to complain about!). No. I’m talking here of that je ne sais quois.. that something that makes you look twice at someone; and usually the people that have this quality dress to reflect it. And why shouldn’t we? I don’t have Vince Noir and Morticia in my Witches Hall of Fame just because they’re interesting characters on the inside…no, my friends, i can assure you neither of them would have made it wearing tracky daks or a polo top. Not even Vince. Unless the tracky daks were really tight and glittery, maybe… Anyway, point being, they look hot. Simple. Is that really so hard?
I travel into and out of the city pretty much every day, and there are only ever a handful of people who look good. By that i mean people who have a sense of style which is theirs, and which they cultivate to represent who they are. Most people don’t seem to care, or go for a look which is so conservative that they may as well be wearing a paper bag. In fact, they would be a hell of a lot more interesting dressed in just a paper bag. It’s just so BORING and it’s not okay. It’s depressing, anti-life, non-creative but not even destructive in a punk kind of way,… it’s just NOTHING. In general i think the way the bulk of the population dress today is appalling. It’s so… safe. So stupid. At least in ages gone their was style in terms of accessorising with hats, gloves, fans and embroidered handkerchiefs.We don’t even wear hats anymore, when now more than ever we should be accessorising to save our skin from the killer sun burning through our big hole in the ozone layer. While we have big ugly ads warning against skin cancer on trams and billboards everywhere (who wants to look at a close up of an arc of stitches in skin, morbidly downturned like an evil clown scar? Not in a good, Circus of Screams kind of way, rather an awful, just-come-out-of-day-surgery kind of way… yuk..), there still seems to be very little hat or parasol action going on. Why???!!
Still, I must focus on the positive and remember the boy on the tram with the immaculate Johnny Suede hair towering above all the muggles around him. This boy has perfectly manicured nails, wears tight tailored pants and retro silver jewellery. He smells beautiful. On a transport system where you often have to take a handkerchief sprayed with perfume and hold it to your nose to make it through, all I can say about people who make the effort to smell like this is: Thank you God. Then there’s the crazy man who rides his bike down the middle of St George’s Road with colourful flags flying everywhere and rainbow clothes and … yes, we look! The middle aged lady with bright red hair who comes into Spellbox, always divinely dressed in ruffles and top hats and sparkling jewels. Lovely. And then there’s Grant, the leather clad poet who roams Brunswick Street selling “Poetry 4 Beer” and may never be seen without a bottle in his hand and his old cowboy hat on his head, who’ll kiss your hand and offer you your reflection in his aviatior mirrors for free…
Love them all. They’re characters worth noting: noteworthy. Is it any wonder I want to Goth up the world? Imagine, just for a moment, how absolutely fantastic it would be, everyone dressed to impress, strutting their stuff on the streets… I will even relinquish the absolute necessity that it has to be full Goth. I will include anything gypsy, sparkling or circus-inspired, romantic and new-romantic, punk, rockabilly, fetish, pirate, steampunk, mod or rocker. Anything retro or involving hats, bustles, corsets or big boots. Basically, I would suggest going to a costume shop (try Rose Chongs on Gertrude Street, Fitzroy) and seeing what draws you in, what you’d like to dress up as. This then gives you the basis for your new wardrobe, you just add to it and take from the basic style and expand and create around that.Not only is it all incredible fun, but just think how you will personally be contributing to a more beautiful world. Go. Be delicious!